Wearing Thin...

I'm starting to believe that my patience is starting to wear thin. I'm on a strong border of losing it. I feel like so much in my life is collapsing as I try dodging every collision of problems approaching me. I know what happened and is happening is starting to suck and the look in Kyle's eyes hurt me so badly. Seeing all that pain and disappointment. I'm trying to get back on my feet, but I feel so guilty for everything I am doing. It's starting to become harder for me to decipher the right from wrong. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Well... I don't know. I'm tired and exhausted again. I keep crying because I'm so upset and disappointed in myself. I am in constant worry and pleading to God. I'm so confused with this world. I hope we're okay. I hope we make it out strong. I hope I find my way. I hope I know what I am looking for. All I can do is hope and pray. What do I do? He says stay happy, think positive, don't worry too much, and we'll get through this; Do you believe me? I say yes, but sometimes I feel like saying no because we will never know till we get there. I seek for advice and answers, but all I receive are more questions and fear. I've been walking down this road alone for awhile, but some that have lost their ways has always come by to take a stroll with me. In the end, we end up parting ways and I am again left alone. It isn't easier, and the road is just so bumpy. Nothing seems to be familiar to me anymore. I used to know the answers to the questions people asked, but now I am speechless. I guess what I am trying to say is...

I don't know where I am heading anymore.