Headache of Dooom!

Church was cool; Long but Fun... Jesmond Monica and Jojo attended which was also awesome
"Nice meeting you BRO!"
Chilled at my house for awhile and watched Harry Potter.
"what are you gonna do about your dragon"
Dropped Jojo Home and paid my sisters Macy's car
Found something kinda cutes. I shall buy it... eventually.
Rested at my house. Had a big headache at the same time so I closed our day early.
Texted Alyssa most of my day. =]

Boom chika boom boom.

Its gonna come!

Who Am I To Say?

To keep this blog simple kinda...

YESTERDAY

It was nice hanging with Monica, Fawzi, and Monds for awhile.
I talked with Robert for a long time! =]
Sat with us during the Guard show
Reunion with friends!
Great/amazing show and performers
Realized my heart can still break easily
Hang with Kyle for a bit
brought peopel home
Carissa, Rb, Eric, and Aileen made videos and chilled
Expressed my feelings to Rb for once and cried a lot to him
Didn't sleep till 3 AM =] Gotta love 'em

TODAY

Woke up in a terrible mood... and remained that way for awhile.
Monica and Jesmond came over. Lol to my Mom
"Monica and whatever eat now!" hahahahaha
Uhm... Chilled for awhile and Monds went homes
then Monica and I made brownies
We listened to music and watched Courage & Man Vs. Wild
Ate at Red Robin to talk about things and watched the game
Good Music
Music Video (finally!) -incomplete-
Salad Fingers
Trying on clothes
Busy day for tomorrow thats for sure.

I still love my two girls..

Lalique and Monica!


FROM TODAY

Realization

I can never get you to support me in anything I do.
Not even once.
Cause you're too busy supporting someone else.

Story Of My Life...

Silently Screaming- Ne-yo

Someone put me in the right direction,
tell me where’s the nearest peace of mind
I’m going crazy..[Ooh]
Knight in shining armour in the distance,
he sees the evil threatening my life
Why won’t he save me…[ooooh]

All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ ‘nd lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
somebody to genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming, it’s like I’m silently screaming

*Even though I’m totally surrounded i feel like i’m in here by myself

How about you do it ’cause you love me
not ’cause you want something in return
Is that so crazy..crazy
In the middle of a sea of helpless,
but see I never learned how to swim
somebody save me.. somebody save me..

[Ooooh]
All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ ‘nd lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
somebody to genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming, it’s like I’m silently screaming

*Even though I’m totally surrounded..

*Somebody to catch me when I fall, somebody who helps me through it all
someone I can trust, tell me if I’m asking to much..

All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ and lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
someone I can genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming, feels like I’m silently screaming

Even though I’m totally surrounded..[silently screaming] I feel like i’m in here by myself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even want to deal anymore.

Cannot Stand It.

Cannot Take It.

Excited for Sunday.

School was alright. Math I made a new friend kinda.
English Ashley and I proceeded with our presentation without Anna,
but she walked in and did her part after. Interesting topic
discussion in class =]
Bus ride was alright
Proceeded with my essay as usual!
Picked up Monica and bought some stuffs
Finished Paper....
Charm School...
Then Slept for 2 hours I believe
Went to Church Rehearsal which was REALLY FUN =]

Regardless if some people do not go on Sunday to watch
I think I'll enjoy myself =]

Amazingly Interesting.

I had a choice not to go to school, but through DEEP DEEP thinking in the morning, I got the courage to go to school. The MAIN reason I went was cause I figured I'd write half of my essay in that freaking class. I kinda talked with Mei, Dorinee, and Abby about how retarded that class was during our "discussion". LOL I did miss Rainier though... D: Bloops. Lets see. Lenzy ran into me "literally" at school hahahaha we talked and caught up about stuff. LET ME TELL YOU SHE SAVED MY ASS ON SOMETHING! =] Thank you!!! Niko took me home and I kinda enjoyed the ride home. We were singing Knock You Down and I kept dancing like a biznatch. He soon realized I have these weird reactions to "love/depressing" music. Then asked... "You don't easily fall in love huh?" Weird question, but some what true. My answer to that is its so hard fall in love... because once you fall in, its hard to fall out. O.o iono I'm weird ass hell. I did enjoy my text messages with Lalique though =] MHMS! Lets see... I took Aileen to get her hair cut so she did and cut it short! O: Missy came so it was fun talking to her. I removed my nails. Worked on my essay then napped for like ever. After I still haven't finished my essay. Teacher gave me an extention on it but I think I will turn it in anywho. Just problems with my group presentation... -____- BLAH. oh well think positive! Lol I finished my essay and stuff and I am still reading the journal for Soc. it isn't bad, but it isn't interesting either. LOL. Oh well as long as its shorter than the book I read last time. =/ I am almost done with everything I need done this week =] Weird random good things are happening but I LOVE IT! puahahaha


Sadly, I miss David! =[

How Deep Is Your Love?

pretty deep =]

Well... today I really didn't expect to do much, but I guess I did! Puahahaha! Love it.

To keep it simple. Monica and I went to Target and did a few things. Then Panera for Lunch. Salads are good =] & Frozen Mocha? Hrm.... Back at my house chilled and did puzzles! Fun stuff I tell you. Currently our project is Vegas =] 765

After Lalique came over and had a major chill seesh! I got to admit I love it! I was being such a bitch on everything I was saying... I felt bad for awhile, then I turned into a big whatever =] Sang. Watched stuff. Talked a lot. and more and more =] Quite lovely. >.<

No Homo!


Chill. but awesome. =] Thank you, you guys

Daddy's 9 Months

Well "yesterday".... I went to Church with Monica & Jesmond. Bought breakfast... and stuff. Talked with Teddy after church which was fun =] Then Rubios! Yums. Sleep till Party at my house. Random Homo moments with Monica.... O.O puhahahaha. It was slow/fun/interesting. I love my family! Monica, Monds, and Lalique were over. I loved talking with Lalique it was fun and revenge 2! was bombtastic! =] Hm... cards and stuff was fun. Albertsons. Kiddies running around. Mixed emotions, content =]. Hrm.... I need to get my shit together for the next few classes. o: Babysitting Ashton and playing HidenSeek! =] BLARGH! Good day. Good Day. =] Pudding. Demon Magic. War. Slap Jack. Hair playing. Chit Chatting. =] Oh how my mind is entangled with a lot of different thoughts.




Daddy I miss you. Happy 9 Months! Today. Love you always and forever =]

Simple & Chill

Well today I didn't really do much actually.
I was supposed to go out in the afternoon, but I ended up cleaning my room a lot then knocking out for a couple of hours! Did some errands for my mom and then slept again.

Around 830 I went and picked up KENNY WONG! =] LOL
We ate at Red Robin and caught up on some things. Good dinner and talk!
He kept making fun of me of how I put ketchup in my ranch... and everything else
then I kept insulting him around people hahahaha!
After we went to Shadow Oak Park and showed him the new area which was cool.
We went to my house after and took pictures and talked more =]
Eugene picked him up and I dropped stuff off to Monica Tis ALL

=]

David Choi - Won't Even Start

What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September

I havent seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where Ive been

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you

Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know itll cut me like a knife

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

Questions?

School was quite interesting... I didn't pay attention obviously, but I did have fun in class for once! Sorry Rainier bout chyeah.... =/ Home I just slept & Sears put in the air conditioning so its fixed! =] Puahahaha. Picked up Monica and went to Michaels then Starbucks! As we were walking out Aj, RB, & Cathy were calling me and we hung out with them for an hour or two. It was really fun I got to admit and Franz, Derek, Fabianne, & etc. started coming... more singing... and chillin. =] Really fun! Then I went home hung with Monica and then talked with David for awhile. Picked up Jesmond and headed to Church. Rehearsal... was "interesting". Idk how to explain it. After Chipotle. Now I am done I suppose. LOL DAMNIT ALL!

Cause I Cannot Remember

a lot of yesterday.

Overall
Skittles, nap, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Rachels random comments, same company =]

Today.

I accidentally knocked down my Mac off my bed when I woke up... then I went to school. School was really good surprisingly. Home. What am I going to do today? I'll figure it out! =]

You Are My Hiding Place

Oh how life is topsy turvy!

Saturday

Pretty much Jesmond came over and helped me take down my pictures and awards that were on my wall. So my walls are just blue... puahahhaah! We talked for a bit and then we picked up Fawzi and headed to the mall. We chilled there for awhile and played contact to kill time. Angels&Demons was a really good movie I got to admit! Many inside jokes =] Lol after we went to Denny's and played more contact and ate some good foods! =] Convo in our car was hella funny =X We took Fawzi home and then Jesmond and I continued our conversation by looking into the yearbook! LMAO I can't remember the rest except the fact that we just talked a lot and took him home =]

Sunday

Well I woke up and picked up my usual companions for church =] Bought some McDees for breakfast and waited at church till the 9am mass ended. 1030am mass was great! I even remember the Gospel cause I loved it so much! John 15:9-17 =] Puahahah Good topic and makes you think really hard. After chilled. Lalique came over too and we all just hung out for a bit. Fawzi took awhile to get here but he did! Lol Lalique and I talked about SD and other things! I love our talks they are quite hilarious! =] Fawzi and Jesmond did their own thing kinda while laying on our asses! Puahahahaha! It got super hot that we slept for awhile and then got Coldstones! =] Apple Cider YUM! lmao unrelated btw. Lalique and I caught up MAJOR which was cool cause I LOVE catching up with her! =] My other babygirl came =] puahah! Chilled with us Lalique left and the rest of us "told" ghost stories. I was like super hyper and out of it. I kept laughing and drinking cider.... O_O fell off the chairs... =[ After I talked on the phone with David & I ended up going to his casa for awhile. Chilled & etc didn't come home till later and I got in trouble D: Erm.... Randolph was at my house and we talked a bit and I said my last goodbye and picture with him which turned out good but I'll post on myspace when Aileen uploads it. THEN SLEEP!

Today

Well I woke up terrible.. so I dressed up terrible looking too puahahaha. I almost woke up late also so I just ran and grabbed my stuff. Quite car ride today though... =[ Stupid songs making me all hella sad! I was in my math class like... an hour early so I didn't know what to do besides study for a bit. I ended up sleeping for 20 minutes hahahaha boring boring the class was... and did quiz. After English! I love english and I love how we debated today! I love participating in that class! Thats all I am gonna say! Bus ride was lonely and quiet... =/ I went home and checked my email and I read that Chevy sent me a song to learn! AND I LOVE IT! Puahaha! XD I like that song! I ended up sleeping to it in a good happy hibernation way! After David called and I picked him up after jazz. We talked about some stuff and had to really talk about something. Kinda. And then we walked to Mc Dees! He made me climb his backyard fence and down the hill! It was fun but scary since I am clumsy. The walk was really beautiful and since I naturally walk fast he told me to slow down and "enjoy the view" it was really nice though. We ate and walked back hopping over sprinklers! =] We saw Abby and Jason while she was driving. Climbed back into his backyard and then I slept for awhile. More talking and sleeping. and more talking and sleeping! Lol then we started to make inside jokes and I kept eatting bananas =] watched Simpsons and 24 soo.. yeah... I suppose after our walking journey it helped lighten up our mood and made us feel much much better =] I am glad I am able to talk to him about stuff. & I am sorry for whatevers I can't remember my thought... oh for saying something i shouldn't have I suppose. Blarghs! =] I feel gay happy so YAY! hahahaha.

I Learned to Never Listen to my Feelings About Love

My life is starting to look up and perhaps I am slowly letting go.
Keeping some things to myself is okay because eventually it'll mean nothing in the end. I still have my family and friends. Thats all I am mostly greatful for. Everyone is moving on and the world keeps spinning. Perhaps we'd stubble upon a bad day, but we should look forward to the next day to be a great day. I hurt but I am only human. Lately I have been able to be with my friends all together and I really missed it. Spring show was great, I had my ups and downs, confusion and all... but in the end... the night ended great. Today was the same. I missed everything but I feel like I am going to be okay in the end. Life is life. I learned in church that our feelings towards love doesn't really mean anything... its hard to explain but i get it. Love was a great topic to talk about today really.... I am still learning... I am still "young". Life goes on.

& so will I.
ily vlfj+kdam

*cause our song... says more about us than you think. =I

YELLOWCARD-ONLY ONE

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

walking away

(written by rachael lawrence and deborah ellen)

don't want you to beg
don't want you to cry
don't want you feeling like
you wont survive
don't wanna cause you pain
but i don't know an easy way to walk away
and i'm walking away

somehow one day we lost our way
and no one no where thought we'd end this way
you're not the only one in pain
wish there was an easy way to walk away
'cause i'm walking away

maybe time will heal all the pain we've made
and maybe someday all of this will just fade a away
wish you could see how desperately i want to find another way
but i can't stay
i'm walking away
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

you can say that i did enjoy English & going to NHS dress rehearsal
I love being around VLFJK again even though we were missing "d"
rolling on the floor with kyle was hilarious i got to admit =]
prayer meeting rehearsal was kinda funnnn
my interpretation of love was pretty alright too. until
they asked me who i am in love with and its obviously no one...
only the fact that i learned a lot from the people around me and experience.
after rehearsal practiced song with carrie and then jammed with
chevy sonny gerard and kris! they always make fun of me
then again its true i never remember the lyrics to any song
and that i fall out of my car a lot hahahahaha
oh well good times.

This is So0o.. WRONG.

i am happy upset disappointed

all for many different reasons.

the only ones who understand is mostly David & Lalique
@ the current given moment.

A MESS!

A lot has been going on lately

as in...
preoccupied and lazy to actually blog lately.

I've been having fun tis all and missing friends.

Cause When I Look Back.

you were worth the fall when you hit me down.

Front & Back.

I am getting tired of aching... D:

Yesterday wasn't too bad.
I went to church with Jesmond and Monica which was alright.
Chilled at my house I think and ate Jello, Pasta, & Ice Cream
Watched the Office
More chillin & textin each other.
Went to Brea Mall for stuffs
Dropped Monica to Mervin
Hung out with Monds for awhile
Jesmond dropped me to Davids place
Hung out at Davids
Chill, talk, eat beef steak, walking into baskets, watched a movie,
sleep, helped with laundry, & stuff
Went home around 12 I think?
Good talking&hanging with him though.. its always nice =]

Today.
Went to Rainiers class cause I needed to do some English homework.
Skipped Math.
Did interview for stuff.
Hang out with Rainier.
English was pretty cool.
My team won extra credit
Niko&Rainier took me with them to Nogales to study
I learned kinda. or I watched them study
Said hi to Monica & Fawzi mostly
Now I am home doing nothing I believe.
I am tired... & my neck is super stiff it bothers me.

My UPDATED BLOG - 050309

since I highly doubt I'd go do anything today.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday was a pretty good day in the beginning.
I had breakfast with Monica and then I picked up Franz to visit Nogales.
Mr. Woodside & Ms. Cao were really fun to be around.
Xanthe came too and told more jokes.
Mmm went home because they wanted to go home and I didn't want to stay alone.
I napped for awhile... and talked on the internet.
Picked up Monica & Joshy and did Joshy's hair.
Jesmond came over chilled and talked.
Did Karaoke which was fun even though I was terrible.
Fawzi came on over and continued the same stuff then Aileen joined.
Took Joshy home.
Went to fair to say hi to people and stuff...
Ran with Monica across the street as if we were gay puahaha
It rained.
Monica and I were really hyper so we kept laughing and jumping on each other.
Monica Jesmond and Fawzi were drawing penis's on cars.
Headed to Applebee's.
Car accident.
Lol the police guys =]
Hrm... stuff stuff stuff...
Lalique came asap and Aj was there too
*group hug* puahaha
My house.
Had pizza & stuff
chilled, talked, & cartoons.


I recently found a bruise on my leg. =[
now I am carless... then again, I don't feel like driving

TO Jesmond Monica and Fawzi:

I am sorry about what happened, but I am dearly blessed that you guys are all okay. I love you guys with all my heart and thanks for trying to support me in anyway. I didn't mean for you guys to be in that kind of danger even though it wasn't my fault. But I am greatful you guys are my friends and I believe you should know that if you didn't. I love you guys

& TO LALIQUE:

Thank you for staying with us the whole time. I greatly appreciate it. I love you baby =]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I guess I did do something today! LOL.

Monica and Jesmond came over.
Made Jello, ate ice cream, &...... the devil wears prada!
Ariel invited us to watch the fight at her house =]
Chilled at Ariels for a really long time and a lot of bonding!
Pretty tights pretty tight! I enjoyed it lots!
Fight was good Pacquiao obviously won but sadly fight was too short
Texting during the fight was kinda fun/funny!
Made videos and took a lot of pictures =]
Ate at Denny's

Good day =] Nice recovery from last night, sadly...

My neck/back is starting to hurt now... my left leg is sore..
bruise on my right leg.. D:

FML.

car accident.